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Dear Coldstone

September 14, 2008

I’ve been wanting to write you for a while.  I know with your popularity you probably will not write me back, but I forgive you, and don’t expect it.

From the moment I walk into your store, something happens to me.  The aroma, oh the aroma, of the waffle cones and the fresh ice cream, its intoxicating.  I love your flavors, love your mix ins, love the pictures on the wall.  Even now as I write, I can taste my favorite concoction.  Half coffee ice cream, half cake batter, with added fudge, peanut butter, and oreo.  About half way through I enter a state of nirvana, and am filled with gratitude for something so pleasing to my senses. 

But Coldstone, can I be honest for a moment?  You kill my waist line.  I have gained more weight from your establishment than any other in existence.  And I blame it on you, because one visit, while very enjoyable, only lasts for about a day, and then I want another one just as bad. 

Here’s my idea.  I don’t want to tell you how to do your job so take this for what its worth.  Can you find a way to make the same product taste wise, but healthy?  We put men on the moon decades ago, there’s a brand new ipod, and I get email on my phone, so I’m just kind of thinking that maybe you guys can figure it out.

Until then I have stopped going to your store all together.  I don’t expect you to miss me, but I sure miss you.  Please let me know when you’ve accomplished this noble and worth while goal.

Sincerely,

Jay

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9 comments

  1. I’ll bet that was probably one of the most difficult letters you ever had to write. But, I admire your strength, and you know what they say… “if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you”, well… you know the rest.


  2. HA!! You said “we put a man on the moon”….that’s hilarious!


  3. Coldstone is closing lots of its stores….not sure if you knew that.


  4. Their ice cream is so yummy! We don’t eat there too often, but can see where that might be an issue if we did (Could be hard on the waistline as well as the wallet)!


  5. I think you should make this a series of letters like Tyler did with Palin, Obama, Biden, Mcain. You need letters to Starbucks frappacinno maker, diet coke makers…. you get the idea.
    You’re doing good…Jay!


  6. EVery time I think about going to Coldstone I remind myself that I can have 5 times as much ice cream for the same price by going to Haggen’s. So, my letter will be to Haggen’s.


  7. Just shared this with a Cold Stone employee.


  8. :::WARNING:::
    I was in coldstone the other day. They had an ad for their new low-cal whatever…
    I thought, YEAH! Only 25 cal?!
    But then I looked at the fine print…
    Yeah, 25 cal, for 1 OUNCE!

    I was so disgusted that I got a cake batter with walnuts and sprinkles just to spite them. And then, I tipped, just to make them sing. Take that, Coldstone!


  9. I have an Asian inspired flavor for Coldstone (NO it has NOTTHING to do with Kung Pao or Soy Sauce or BBQ crickets). Wonder if they’ll consider my idea…



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